ichbinindah

Today’s Alpha woman is everywhere. In dress and style, the Alpha is the familiar, highly visible prototype. She’s the MD who manages a clinic like a well-oiled machine, or the self-confident Web editor who envisions herself running the company with her combination of tech skills and business savvy. She’s the chic, assertive saleswoman who convinces you to buy an outfit you aren’t sure you actually need. As I’ve studied and discovered that  Beta sisters sometimes feel diminished or threatened by the Alpha prototype—but there is really no cause for this. I am not talking about good, bad, or better people. I am saying that all Alphas and Betas—in other words, all of us—are on a personality continuum, and most of us are a mix, with greater or lesser degrees of both.

Betas have less of a need for control, and they may have less interest in a leadership position than an Alpha would. In a group of women, the Alpha is the one who exerts power and influence through her ability to take charge of the conversation, while the Beta will tend to listen and support. In the extremes of both, an Alpha may be too confrontational; a Beta may be too passive. Fortunately, people are malleable, and you can modify some of your behavior for a better balance.

Can you be an Alpha if you’re not a big earner or powerful out in the working world? Of course! Lily, a physician and a mother of two, works between fifteen and twenty hours a week to her husband’s seventy hours plus. She puts it this way: “I’m an Alpha in disguise. I

don’t wear my Alpha on my sleeve.” Like Lily, many strong Betas carve out a niche for themselves

within a relationship; they may control the finances or decisions about the children, for example. “I’m a little afraid of direct confrontation,” Lily says. “I will tend to avoid it. I look like I’m easy going and amenable and I don’t always show my forceful side, but I do like to get my way.”

Alpha? Beta? It isn’t always either/or, and Alpha is not better than Beta. Far more important is the degree of each that you have in your personality where you’ll plot your profile on the Alpha/Beta spectrum. You may be a Beta, with anywhere from a handful to a big helping of Alpha, or an Alpha with strong to middling Beta tendencies, or an extreme Alpha, with practically no Beta at all. You may be pretty much a hybrid, with equal amounts of both. I’m betting that you’ve got some Alpha no matter who you are. Funny, strong, independent, and comfortable in her own skin, the Alpha believes in herself—but has some blind spots. She assumes that as an Alpha female she should be partnered with an Alpha male. But clinical experience has shown me that this partnership is at the greatest risk for divorce because two Alphas will tend to compete for power and dominance. I will show Alpha women how they can learn to envision and accept themselves as the Alpha in a relationship with

In some ways, we are all the same. We all have human bodies and minds, we all have human thoughts and human feelings (unless you are a cat, you don’t have them). 

Yet in the other ways, we are all completely different and unique. No one can ever have the same experience of life, perspective, and mind. Even identical twins are different from each other.  

What makes them different? It is because they have a different personality. Personality makes us thinking, feeling and acting differently from others. Personality can be defined in different ways, depending on whether we focus on the individual or on people in general.

The most popular personality types are these.

• Introversion (I) or Extraversion (E)

• Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)

• Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)

• Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)

According to the Myers-Briggs model, the first letter determines the attitudes of the dominant and subsequent functions, while the last letter shows which function is dominant. For Extraverts, the dominant function is focused on the outside world. J means that one of the Judging functions (Thinking or Feeling) is dominant; P points to one of the Perceiving functions (Intuition or Sensing). For Introverts, J and P show the auxiliary rather than dominant function -  the dominant function itself is internalized.

 “Is it possible to change my personality type?”

According to most personality type theories, the individual’s type is inborn and does not change. However, individuals can develop traits and habits that differ or even directly contradict the description of their type.
How does that happen?

Let’s use an example. Imagine that lights in your flat suddenly go off and you are in complete darkness. You may be able to navigate your way to the door, but what senses are you going to use? Touch? Hearing? Smell? It would be anything but vision, your preferred sense. However, as soon as the lights come back on, you will switch back to using vision again as it makes it much easier to navigate around the flat.

The way your personality works is very similar. The environment you are in shapes your personality in a certain way, forcing you to develop traits and habits that might be foreign to your type. For instance, if you are naturally casual and spontaneous (Prospecting), but your work schedule is very structured and your manager is obsessive about schedules, your preferences are likely to change. However, you will probably switch back to being a Prospecting individual as soon as you leave that job. The same rule applies to other traits as well.

Your basic personality type cannot change – however, you can and should change the aspects of your personality that you are unhappy with. By doing this, you will strengthen your shadow traits and become a more well-rounded individual, even though your dominant traits will still remain the same. Such a change could be triggered by either the environment you are in or your own will – to each his own.  In our societies we sometimes see changes in an individual’s personality over time, right? So, don’t worry be happy. As time goes by may be subtle developmental changes during adolescence.